Just as remembering the future changes time, so does forgiving. We are often advised to begin with forgiving ourselves, but forgiving others also changes who we think we are. In fact, forgiving others works because it changes who we think we are. Forgiving works whether or not others change. Because forgiving changes who we think we are, it can help the others change who they think they are when they experience how we are changing.
Forgiving changes who we think we are by changing how we relate to time, i.e., our relation to who we thought we were and will be. Emmanuel Levinas explains:
Pardon in its in its immediate sense is connected with the moral phenomenon of fault. The paradox of pardon lies in its retroaction; from the point of view of common time it represents an inversion of the natural order of things, the reversibility of time. Totality and Infinity 282